July 11, 2001 Wednesday

As graduation time draws near, I can already feel a certain dread as to what my future will be. Statistics are not too good; I might end up as one of those professional bums, jacking up the unemployment rate of the country. Indeed, real life is totally different from school life (I learned this from the graduates) - no more summer, Christmas, and holiday vacations, limited time for gimmicks, and if you make a fatal mistake, you screw up big time (no 5s and no more chance to repeat the subject, you are just gonna be fired). You can't even choose your own boss. I am scared that after leaving the shelter of UP, I will have no idea where to go, what to do and how to do it. Hell, I might not even survive the adaptation game (i.e. survival of the fittest or evolution).

I guess the best thing to do is to prepare ourselves for the inevitable. We will not be studying forever. Sooner or later, we just have to face the real world. Here are some rules to guide us by:

WHAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN IN SCHOOL

For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a full generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

RULE 1..........Life is not fair; get used to it.

RULE 2..........The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3..........You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school or college. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4...........If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5...........Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.

RULE 6...........If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7............Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

RULE 8............Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9...........Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10..........Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11..........Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

July 3, 2001 Tuesday

"It's July 3, 2001. Exactly 5 years ago there were these 2 young, handsome, promising boys who were betrayed by their teacher. They were driven into their doom..." 

"... like sheep into wolves' den, they were once destroyed. But no more shall they be. Like the phoenix, they shall rise from their ashes and become stronger! :-)"

5 years ago... how fast time flies... 5 years ago since our teacher, together with a DECS high official in our region,  sexually "betrayed" his students, two of our closest friends. Oh how we fought then for the expulsion of our teacher. He was promptly transferred, but only because the students no longer respect him, and not because he was deemed unfit to teach for moral reasons. Now,  after a long, taxing battle in the courts, the day of reckoning is at hand. Today is judgment day and a sentence will be handed down, either convicting the two accused or acquitting them.  

The messages above were sent to me by one of the victims this morning, just before the court session started.  It was a positive effort, but one which betrayed his true feelings. And indeed, who would not be afraid? The two accused were highly respected and esteemed in their fields. One was a DECS superintendent with a PhD while the other was a scholar sent by the government to Australia to study on a scholarship grant. Indeed, when the news first leaked out 5 years ago, no teacher believed the victims, and no one would lay a hand on the two accused. Even the radio stations which broadcasted the story theorized that the victims were out to extort money from these "honorable" educators. Our friends were even told to forget the whole incident. Thankfully, they did not.

"The verdict has been given, the truth prevailed! They were convicted and sentenced with reclusion temporal, spanning 14 years 8 months and 1 day up to 20 years in prison." [sent 10:13:50 am July 3, 2001]

Yes! Words are unnecessary at this point. But I have to know one thing...  how did they (accused) look while the verdict was being passed? Face distorted, wringing in pain? A look of disbelief on their faces? indifferent? HOW?!?

"... they looked very pale, sick, and dying..."

I am at peace. God will take care of them. Lord have mercy on their souls.

Archive

June 30, 2001 Saturday

After two weeks of cramming, reading, and staying up late, I've just about had it! Although this time period (the first  two weeks of school) is still relatively easy compared to what is yet to come, my mind has already entertained visions of death. Just thinking of the tasks ahead  makes my stomach churn and my heart palpitate. My vicious self has already started to show (I can't believe I pounced on someone merely for asking the time. But he was the one who had a wristwatch strapped on his arm, not me!) but I can't let moodiness ruin my poise. No way! 

Thank goodness it is already the weekend. Weekends are always a welcome break for me. The feeling is like resting on an oasis after a grueling journey in the desert. Of course,  the journey continues and fatigue will once again set in, but when you are just about ready to pop, another oasis shows up. I guess that works as long as you don't give up the journey... cause if you do and stop in the middle of the desert, then you might not see the oasis which can only be a short distance (perhaps a few paces) away from you. And ain't that a pity... (sorry I just saw the movie "The Mummy Returns" two hours earlier and I still can't shake off these memories of the deserts and oases... and pyramids... and water... )

Anyway.. still talking about moods (and I sure am moody right now!), I dug this poem from somewhere. Do you agree?

MOODS OF A WOMAN

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction.

A woman is a bundle of contradiction.

She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse.

But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.

She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse.

She'll break open his head and then be his nurse.

But when he's well and can get out of bed,

She'll pick up the teapot and aim for his head.

Beautiful and keenly sighted, yet blind crafty and cruel,

yet simple and kind

She'll call him a king, then make him a clown.

Raise him on a pedestal, then knock him flat down.

She'll inspire him to deeds that ennoble man.

Or make him her lackey to carry her fan.

She'll run away from him and never come back.

But if he runs away, then she'll be on his tracks.

Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose

She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose

She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk

She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk

At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad.

She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

MOODS OF A MAN

Horny.

June 21, 2001 Thursday

Just when I have finally given up hope on finding my true love... a friend sent this to me. It touched my heart. And I want to share this with you too ...  to know that in the vast somewhere out there, there is someone for me... and you... and know that they, too, are waiting ... to be with...  the one...

A Letter To the One that God has Prepared For Me

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if you, like me, are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you.

I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other? Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions. Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person.... and since I have not found  you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!

You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes. I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful life ahead of me --- the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU! I wonder if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the journey. But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I am right here... patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me with your arms of love.